Love Letters (For a writing competition)

Love Letters

By XP

My Dear Mountain,

Your name I dare not whisper, not even in this letter upon which you will never set your eyes. I am writing it in peace, on this lovely afternoon, to you, or rather to myself. Outside of the window birds are flying in a clear blue sky, gracefully white clouds taking their gentle but long journey toward an unforeseeable end. When I think of you I descry in my mind a vast mountain in the distance melting away to the horizon. You are there, tall and solid. On my face warm sunlight sheds, and I feel content and hope.

For long I have fared. My feet are weary, but not nearly as such as my heart, laden with burdens of doubt and pain along the way. No longer am I the innocent, fearless young girl who dreamed a world of only the bright and the true. At times my steps go astray. I look around, not knowing what I should seek in this world fraught with bewilderment and insecurity. Yet in the dark night a voice hidden inside reminds me that, as said by Victor Hugo, "the supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved". The one faith without which I shall perish is love, the ultimate comfort and relief. Still of love I know very little, as it were. With all the efforts I can only discern a fair lady in veil, radiant light shining through her elegant figure and raiment. Generous she is, she dwells in a far land of wonder and mystery. In our world each one of us may catch a different glimpse of her.

Years back I for the first time attempted to love in a fit of youthful zest. Now all that remains is a scar laid deep, covered by the dust of time. In the throes of the loss my eyes were open to imperfection and realness of the world. Little do I regret, for aside from that I learned what I wanted not. I have also become aware that the love for which I long is so rare that few would have the luck of finding it in a lifetime. It is a pity to think that through endless empty darkness we came into life, and shall leave without what our hearts truly desire and never have the choice of returning. But many have endured that and so can I. I need, however, to know that it exists, that the soft rain from heaven might fall on my hands one day.

Thus far in my life I have met a few wonderful people worth unconditional love. No one else touched the depth of my heart as you did though. Never have I beheld someone who combines so perfectly many talents: a mind of brilliance, hands of skills and a heart of strength. Indeed a lot I learned from you, even though I have not properly spoken of my gratitude. That is not all. Sometimes I see myself in your humbleness, your liking for music, even your little burst of subtle temper or stuborness. How admirable are the strong determination and quickness in solving problems that I lack! I shall certainly not leave out the twinkling light in your keen eyes when you smile. Did I not feel something special? The answer is of little importance, for were there a flame of yearning I had quenched it ere its spreading. My respect for love and for you is too deep. I could never bear being a source of slightest disturbance even in my own secrecy.

I am sorry for the unfortunate loss for both of us. Sorrier am I for the following awkward conflict and tension between us. I was striken hard by the cruelty of life. And though I have not confessed it to anyone I care for you too much, such that little discordance was over amplified into resentment. Long in pain I was, but finally I have revived. Naught has changed since, if I count in not the growing harmony in my mind. A lot of you I do not know, and never shall, like as not. But that matters not, or for the best it is. Yonder you stand with other marvelous figures, my heart soothed and pleased. In days that will come to pass, I shall walk with strength and resolution along whichever path I choose to take. It may even be likely that I shall meet someone with whom I can exchange love, for as precious as love is, she never forsakes one unless she is forsaken first.

Valentine's day is approaching. It is probable that I will not be able to speak to you of my wishes - you may find them queer if I do. So here they are: Merry be you and your loved ones! Happy and healthy be you all! Merry be all in this world who deserve true happiness! May light fall on those who need it!

Happy Valentine's day and Happy every day,
When_Swallow_Flies


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"Love Me and Despair"

My Love,

I have come. From the beginning of ageless Time I have come; at the instant a lightning smote your window I have come. Through the core of stars brighter than the Sun, through motionless coldness darker than the void. Through life and desolation I have come. I have plodded for eternity, for I must come to you, my love.

Do you hear my whisper? I speak your name and say to you in the stillness of night: Open your eyes, my love. Behold the darkness of light, behold the mercilessness of shadow. Touch the empty deeps of your soul that are beyond good and evil. In your dream you tremble, like the last leaf in the gale. Have no fear, my love, come to me, come to my arms and seize me. I it is who am your only salvation. Come to me, come with me to the road of no returning.

Hold me tight and I shall lead you to the abyss toward bliss and misery. Waste everything that you held precious heretofore. All shall be blazed into ashes of forgetfulness. You only with me, and I only with you. Together we fly. Together we shall rise and fall. Fire in Hell flares more blindingly than the greatest truth, yet it is naught compared to your desire. In the flame of anguish we tear joy beyond enduring. The world is of no more question; life reveals its meaning. Let us love, let us love into oblivion.

When all is silent, tell me, my love, do you not see in my eyes beauty surpassing all the oceans on this planet and all the stars in the universe? Is it not that my smile warms you more than the fireplace of home on the coldest night of winter? Weep not, for I laugh with tears. My voice echoes in the bottomless chasm of love. You have followed the steps of doom and fled from hollowness to me. Do you not know, my love, that the black hole of love has no escape? With the tips of my fingers I can crush your beating heart when a flower is blooming. Speak of no wrong, for love has no right or wrong. Love is despair.

On this earth too many powers clothe themselves with the tender garb of love. Mock them, for the delicate love shall revenge itself with power beyond reckoning. This power bestow upon me, my love, and I confer on you mine. We shall wander abreast, rejoice and suffer, till the far end of all.

My love, I have come, hither at your door. To take my hand or not, I leave it free for you to choose. But hark! Fate is knocking for me. I shall see your face as the first light of dawn falls, and I know, my love. I know you shall love me and despair.

Yours,
Angel of dark

02/04/06